Advice

[Redgie]

Hi
I've joined this forum for some help. I'm 30, female and think I'm depressed. (Big surprise I no)
I've felt this way since I was about 11, but like a lot of people who feel this I've always been quite good at hiding the problem.
I've always avoided social situations ( anxiety?) and my friends and family see how I am as my personality ( we can't all be the life and soul of the party can we). I have never been to a doctor about my feelings or discussed it with anyone, except now. I feel like I'm slipping deeper into this and can't find my way out. It's effecting my work and I'm concerned I could lose my job if I don't do something. I can't concentrate and blank out completely when I speak to people which is having a massive impact at work as my job is pretty much speaking to people all day every day. My manager's have noticed and may be taking disciplinary action against me for poor performance in my role. Being under the microscope at work is stressing me even more and I now find myself getting physically sick when I have to go to work. I don't no what to tell them about my performance lately, I want to go to the doctor and get help but what do I say?  Sorry to ramble on but any advice would be appreciated.

[JC]

Hi Redgie

It sounds as though you are depressed but only a qualified professional can tell you for sure. See if you can get an appointment with your GP and basically tell him/her what you have posted here, how you are feeling, the impact it is having on your work and how the stress of it is affecting you.

You say your managers have noticed a dip in your performance at work but it appears they have not taken the time to talk to you to find out why? It should be the first thing any good manager does if one of their staff suddenly begins to perform below their usual standard and the fact they are considering taking disciplinary measures without even speaking to you about the issue is quite shocking.

I hope you will try to see your GP to get some support and that it might help with the problems you are having at work.

[Redgie]

Thanks for the response. I'm going to the doctors today, I'm not sure what I'm going to say but I'll see what they say. I'm also worried that if I get signed off work I'm risking my job as I've had 3 periods of sickness in 12 months. Anyone have experience with this?

[Pip]

I agree with JC and a visit to you GP is worth it just to get a diagnosis.  Depression is treatable.

[stewart]

Hi Redgie, welcome to the forume, deoression can impact on our lives in many ways,
feeling the way you do since a young age, and the avoiding of social situations,  and anxiety even when surounded by people you dont know eg, when in a supermarket are indications of depression, but as others have said talking with your gp and even writing a diary for a few days to show to the doc can help some people.

Another thing you can try is to see if there is a MIND office in your area, they have great support workers and are very easy to deal with.

[Redgie]

I just want to thank you guy's for giving me a kick up the bum. I went to the doctor's today and he was fantastic. I've never talked to anyone about my feelings and he was very sympathetic and easy to talk to. He had a questionnaire that he went through with me to establish how low I was. He said it showed I was severely depressed. He has given me anti-depressants and signed me off work for two weeks. I took the note straight to work ( they let me out to go the doctor's and then go back to work). I was worried about how they would react to the note but my manager was very understanding, he said he'd suffered with this himself and he was glad I was getting help and also to make sure I take whatever medication I've been given. I was told not to worry about my job, worst case scenario I'll get a verbal warning when I get back. ( This was happening anyway due to sickness I've already taken).  I'm relieved that I've finally taken the first step to getting my life back.

Thanks guys

[JC]

Hi Redgie

So glad to hear that you are getting the support you need from your GP and that your employers have been understanding so you do not have the additional stress of worrying about losing your job.

I understand the difficulties of dealing with depression and trying to balance that with work commitments. I hope that now you have taken the first step, and have support, you may feel a little more positive and able to cope.

[Pip]

That's good news and it must feel like a weight of your shoulders.  Your manager bring understanding will help.  It does makes sense that you have been given two weeks as that is the time before you feel any benefit from anti depressants.  The first step is the hardest but also the first to taking control.   

[stewart]

Hi Redgie, glad to see you had a chat to the doc, and he was helpfull, try to relax over the next 2 weeks and take things easy.