Looking for advice from people who understand despression

[desposy]

I'm new here (obviously) and am looking for advice from anyone who understands the postion I'm in.
I'm male, 22, live with my parents in a run down area of the valleys in south wales. I have shoulder length hair and some well kept facial hair, I drive and own a car.

I am unemployed as of august and finding job searching very hard going and it is already taking a big toll on me despite 6 months work over the summer. I was an outdoor activity instructor but due in part to a long term gastric illness and my ongoing depression, in part due to the stress, the years of unemployment, underpayment and insecurity that I now associate with the industry and in part to my qualifications becoming invalid I am now unable and entirely disinterested in looking for work there anymore and as such I am looking to change careers, but this also isn't going well, despite the fact I have a few different career worthy skill sets.

My social life and skills have improved staggering recently as I have begun to recover but a lack of money is having a crippling effect on my life at the moment. several years ago I made a conscious decision to avoid love/romance in my life because it has been one of the largest sources of pain in my life, I have however just developed feelings for someone who I'm fairly certain doesn't reciprocate them.

so that's me. My main question is should I carry on trying to persue some meaningful career that will be enjoyable/fulfilling or should I start looking for work on my local dustbins or similar to start getting some money in and at least be moving on in someway? Has anyone here had to make a decision like this in my situation and how did it affect your depression? Any and all other advice is welcome.

[Pip]

Hi and I'm sorry that I haven't responded to you earlier, It's been one of those days for me that I haven't been able to be on my laptop much today let alone online.

You are in a catch 22 situation of making a decision whether to take on a job that may bore you stuff but getting a wage or hanging on till you can get a job you really want to do.  It will be far more beneficial for you to do a job you enjoy than one that might make you even more depressed.  I've been in that situation of doing a job just for the sake of being employed but it made me feel more depressed.

[Grace]

Hello Desposy!!
I think that your greatest asset at the moment is your young age, though I'm sorry you have already experienced the aches of depression. By the way my first bout of depression started at just 17 years of age and I'm now 60 .... yet I have managed to have a fulfilling life. Depression has not been master of my life and for these last 20 years I've had continual depression, in the sense that it has been to have medication all the time .... but I don't care as long as I can carry on with my life ..... sometimes with recurrences but also with periods of serenity and activity!
So the gist of my advice is to try to make the best out of your life and given your young age, try  to tap your resources!! as you undoubtedly have many!!! and strive for something that fulfills you, as life is worth living!
When I now look back at my life with many downs and then also ups I believe everything has been worth it as the essence of life is to live it to the full!
Go ahead Desposy and listen to your soul/heart!
My best wishes ....Grace

[Pip]

I agree with Grace.  I started suffering with depression when I was about 12 / 13 but didn't realize it at the time.  Although by the time I was in my 20's I thought I did but was constantly told I was moody, over reacted at times and even a drama queen.  I coped the best I could until I was in my 40's then hit rock bottom so saw a doctor and was diagnosed with severe depression.  I regret not having the courage to tell a doctor when I was much younger how I was feeling.  I'm not saying I could have been cured but I would have got appropriate help much earlier.

Knowing how you feel now is the best time to get the help you need and there isn't any shame in it. 

[stewart]

hi Desposy, welcome to the forums, i spent several years living in the valleys of south wales, little village of Argoed, close to Blackwood.

Love can for many be a huge factor in depression, and if this love is unreciprocated, it would understandably just compound any other issues in your life.
as for the work side of things, you could take the first job that you can get while still looking for the one you really want.

however, are you on any medication for depression? if not you could chat with your doc about things, and how you feel, if you are on meds, still chat to your doc and see if they will tweak your meds, as not all meds work for everyone.

[desposy]

I'm on meds that they/I am happy with. Part of the problem has been that I've been applying to "I'll take anything" positions and not been getting anywhere, but I have a few appointments for possible support/advice so I'm just waiting to see what comes of them atm and if nothing does I'll go back to looking for anything. I've cut myself from Jennifer, I don't deal with complex romantic situations well when I'm at my best, but it still felt like a bad idea.

Thank everyone for your advice so far, some of it has helped already and allowed me to make some decisions that make a bit of sense at least

[EmLou210]

Hi

I'm in a similar position to you. I'm 23 and live with my parents. We moved 3 years ago to a very small village in the middle of nowhere, as a consequence I've left friends behind and haven't made many new ones. I'm at Uni atm and am about to finish but due to a lack of relevant experience and location my job prospects aren't looking good.

Personally, I think having a career that you enjoy and fulfills you is very important. I want to be able to get a job that I'm actually excited to get to in the mornings. Sometimes we have to take jobs we don't care to much for to get by but I think it's important to try and make sure we maintain the ultimate goal of getting a job in a career we enjoy.

Have you been to uni/done any courses etc? If you're wanting to make a career change, it might be something worth considering :)