Feeling at an all time low

[masachono]

Hi,
I dont know if anyone can help but ive been feeing depressed for such a long time now its becoming part of my life.

It started when i was a teeneager i guess, i was bullied at school and pretty much kept myself to myself, i was always feeling low and depressed but managed to get through it.

As i got older i always had a nagging feeling of depression and even when i was happy there was always something to make me feel down. now im 36 years old and the feeling just seems to get worse and worse for me. I feel silly feeling the way i do as i have nothing to worry about really.I have a descent job, although i hate it. im married to a fantastic wife and dont really want for anything. But i always feel depressed,i dont really feel i can go on as life seems so meaningless for me.

I cry alot when im alone and have come to the point were i dont like to be on my own. even when im doing the things i enjoy the depression is always there at the back of my mind.

I havent been to a doctor although i have talked to my wife about it. Its a strange feeling as i always feel low and down. and have done for many years.
only today i realised i talk to myself quite alot when im alone.

I dont know if i suffer from "depression" I always think its just me and thats the way i am.

[Ezel]

 ^&* .... talking to your wife is a start though it does sound like you need to deal with in your past.  Something could have triggered off how you're feeling and reminding you of things in the past.

[masachono]

Ive thought of that yes, Im going to the doctors hopefully soon and ill see what they say. resently i lost my job and and although i have a new one, im on my own in it as when i was in my last job i used to work with alot of other and ill be honest i miss them terribly. This maybe a trigger for me i dont know.

[DeeDee28]

I feel the same way you do. I always felt miserable even as a teen and now I'm 24 it has got worse. I have good days and bad days but recently more bad days. I have always been able to hide my depression from people but recently it is getting really difficult to do that. I feel like I am under this dark cloud all the time. Its a horrible feeling and im going to go back to my GP in the week to see what further help i can get before people start noticing that there is something wrong.