"I don't want to be dependent on antidepressants"... anyone say this?

[nocaph]

I know people who do.  And I always tell them it's a medicine that people need in order to continue with their life.  You don't see COPD patients saying "No, I don't want to be DEPENDENT on oxygen to get through my day".

Any thoughts/comments on this concern that seems to plague a lot of people?  I think it's based in the stigma that still exists and inappropriate pride.

[Catbrian]

I think attitudes and beliefs are deeply instilled into each one of us.  While I agree with meds being just as justified and relevant in depression, as in OCPD, there's still a little part of me that's saying, "But, I'm still taking too many meds for my depression"

Most people I know with depression, have become dependent on mood stabilisers and Antidepressants, but I know there are others, with the same type and severity of depression, who choose to live without the meds.

So, I suppose (just thinking out loud here..), if you think about it, I believe there IS a big difference between an OCPD patient's need of drugs in order stay alive, and a depressives choice to use/not to use psycho drugs to beat their depression. 

Do you ever start writing something with one set of beliefs, only to get to the end and find you've completely changed your mind?  That's exactly what happened with this post

I like these thought provoking posts.... cheers!

[nocaph]

I know I need my antidepressants to stay alive.  I know that if I were to stop taking them tonight, within a week I'd be in hospital or dead.  I see no problem in "dependency" there, because in my case it is as important as oxygen.

As for cases of depression that can be tolerated without medication, why do those people do so?  Why do they force themselves into tolerating the symptoms of their illness when they don't have to?  Or is it a weird catch 22... seeing yourself as "dependent" on a medication to help your mood dents your mood in of itself.   Fun debate, haha.

[Wallow]

I am in the process of weaning myself off my meds because i genuinely believe that they are doing nothing for me. I'm determined to proove this and so i'm making an extra effort each day & this is making me feel better than i have done in months! I just hope it lasts! I dont like being on the meds because i cant tell what is me or the depression or the meds. For me it brings another question mark into an already intangible equation.

[Martin]

I went for almost 30 years of depression ruining my life, relationships, jobs, friendships, opportunities (basically burning every bridge I ever had and self-destruction pushing everyone away, eventually) and, about 6 months ago I crashed for the umpteenth time and sobbed on the phone to my Doctor.

The medication 'stabilises' me 90% of the time. A far better situation than I was ever in.

However, the lows are still there. I'm not saying I'm better. Not at all. But the days between the crashes are better. My mood on good days is more stable. But, on 'crash' days I need people to support me. That's the really tough part because only a small number of people with no understanding of depression can be counted on for support.

[Catbrian]

These are touching posts with very valid points.  They have given me food for thought+

[Buttercup]

This is really interesting and thought provoking. 

I do suffer reactively mildly without anti depressants, mainly as I can't take them.  I did take Lamotrigine which helped until I developed a rash and I don't plan on using the alternatives unless things get awful.

[Ohdaddy]

I felt like this recently....why am I popping a prozac every day??  I was at times almost feeling high - feeling so jolly yet my world is falling to bits (going through a divorce and little or no work). So I cut down my dose to one tab every other day.  After a week or so I started feeling averagely grumpy and anxious again so I went back to taking one every day again.  Now I'm back to feeling a little "high".  But what is the alternative? Melancholy? being grumpy? bad tempered?  How often do we see other people who, no matter what happens to them, are always cheerful and positive and wish we were like them? If it means popping prozac for years to feel like a whole person - then so be it.  Even if we may feel "bad" taking it.

Sean

[Martin]

and little or no work

I hear ya, Sean. Struggling with the same problem there which adds to worries and pushes me down further.

what is the alternative? Melancholy? being grumpy? bad tempered?  How often do we see other people who, no matter what happens to them, are always cheerful and positive and wish we were like them? If it means popping prozac for years to feel like a whole person - then so be it.

Sean, those very thoughts go through my mind very often. I've spent 3 decades with the "alternatives" and I don't like "me" when I'm down so, if the medications reduces, slightly, the frequency and depth of the downs, so be it... I want to feel as close to 'positive', 'whole', 'happy' and 'cheerful' as possible.

[nocaph]

Reminds me of that Stephen King quote, they referenced it in the film Helen.  I feel like I can't stop moving, doing things... I can't stop for one second because that's when I start thinking.

"What I do remember is a sense of reality is thin.  I think it is thin you know, thin as a lake after a thaw, and we fill our lives with noise and motion to hide that thinness from ourselves"

[Martin]

I can't stop for one second because that's when I start thinking.

Yep. That's me. The head starts going. Snowballing.

[Ohdaddy]

I was only diagnosed this year - its been a &$%+ year - but I realized after some counseling and reading that I have suffered from bouts of depression for the last30 years or so - certainly since late teens. I just thought it was me - low self esteem, low confidence, grumpy if I did not get my way, sometimes short tempered with people who I knew I could get away with it, getting fed up with jobs, hobbies - always looking for the next thing, always thinking the grass was greener on new pastures. And where did it get me? No-where really.  I find it easier if I have these thoughts back to identify them as the illness, take a deep breath and carry on trying to stay calm and relaxed.  Now with ADs, these give me some of the feelings that have been only occasional visitors in my head - confidence, self assurance, clarity of thought (sometimes at least).  

I met someone a few weeks ago who admitted to me that she had been on prozac for 10 years and had recenlty come off them. She seamed very confident (it was in a work context) and jolly. Do you think for some that long use can somehow kick start your brain into being more positive? Does it become habitual?

Oh and work. That's been &$%+ too. I've been supply teaching this year (primary)> I worked all last week but that was the first work I have had this school year. That's not helped. Sorry, whine over.

Sean

[nocaph]

Well I've been on antidepressants since I was 17, and I'm 24 now... and even now, within hours, literally hours of missing my dose this awful darkness comes over me.

My field of vision starts to "look" different in an indescribable way - like a hollowness, devoid of emotional colouring... I start feeling mentally shaky, nervous, unequivocally too frightened to carry on living... terrified of the air around me.  And I know it's not any kind of withdrawal, I recognise it as that exact same feeling that led me onto antidepressants into the first place; the original depression that has to be covered up on the hour, every 24 hours.

[Ohdaddy]

So from our discussion so far does that mean that, although we don't like to be dependent on ADs, we are in order to live a "normal" life? So there has to be a stoic acceptance of taking them. For some that can be a short period, for others it means the rest of their lives.  What about replacing them with other treatments, huge life changes?


S

[Martin]

Huge life changes can be hard - depending on age, commitments, family, etc.,
I've read and listened to many people who say things like "change you mind change your life" (or the other way around) but most often they forget that in the real world (beyond that or becoming a published author with a seemingly good idea) is that most of us couldn't simply decide one day to change our life.

Spouse, Children, Work, Mortgage/Rent, Etc., Etc., won;t take care of themselves and, very likely, would suffer or feel the impact on one way or another as a consequence of "change your life, change your mind".

I'd love to change MANY things but I sure am not going to flip the whole boat over with everyone in it just to see if my head fixes itself as a result.