New member here. Hello

[Saxokid]

Hello. I'm new to this forum. Thought I would share some info about my life as to why I feel depressed and a sense of why I can't be happy at this point in my life. I am a male 21 years old. My childhood probly is one factor as to why I am depressed. My mom has been a manic depressive all her life, 8/9 months ago she ended up in care at mental institute. She wants to stay there for the rest of her life?? She currently is being moved some where now which might be for a long time. Due to this my dad has been left on his own at home and has family probs of his own with his parents. He was diagnosed with clinical depression few months ago and is just returning to work but is finding life hard. He is not the strong minded man I once knew. These family probs always sit in my mind. Havnt seen my mom in couple Of months now.... Also me and my girlfriend of four years now have a daughter of four months. I live with her in our own house with a big mortgage to repay which is more stress. We have been arguing a lot recently and have actuly split up. She still lives here but is now in process of sorting her own place out. Stresses of being on my own and paying bills is also on top of me. I hate the stress that money can cause!  I feel like I have a lot on my plate and also feel like I want to run away. Some days/weeks/months I feel major depression and don't want to be living any more. Other weeks I will feel ok. I just wish it was per meant. I have never tried suicide but have thought of it and read up on it. I don't think I actuly would. I just like to know that it is possible. I have minor self harmmed but nothing serious. Just something to take my mind off probs for a period of time. I don't have meny friends, only work friends and I leave all my probs at the enterance when I come to work. That's my time to try and feel normal. No one really knows I am down apart from me and my ex. She is no longer interested in my probs. is there any one out there who has had similar probs to me?? What did you do to bring a ray of happiness into your life? Something that made it worth living again. I just feel constantly like a big black empty lifeless hole. Thanks reading guys. Means a lot to me right now :)

[Zaf]

Hi and welcome Saxokid

Ive suffered on and off with depression for over 20 years,  this time I knew it was time to sort out the issues that were causing it to come back again and again,  I found counselling together with medication worked for me and Ive changed a lot of things in my life since July when I had a mini breakdown.

I hope you find this forum helpful,  its certainly made the world of difference to me xx

[Sweetpea]

Hello and welcome to the forum.

S x

[KateG]

Hi and welcome to the forum, I've found that just knowing other people understand and know what I'm going through is a real help

Kate

[Glen53]

Hi and welcome to the forum.

I would suggest speaking to a councilor if you can as it seems you are taking on a LOT of stress at such a young age. There can be a 'cloud' that hangs over the whole "talking to shrinks" idea, especially when you are younger, but talking to a councilor is simply a good way to ofload any problems you are having. They also tend to have access to more support in your area - it seems to me that you may be entitled to more help and support than you are currently getting, its certainly worth asking. All this can add extra stress to you at a time when it sounds like you have enough.

If this is something you feel might help, then speak to your GP about whats going on and let them know you are struggling a bit. If you want quicker support and can afford to pay then MIND do offer support through counciling too and they seem to help with good rates if you are struggling with bills.

We will of course, try to advise and help you here if we can but its always best to have a professional who is aware of your difficulties in case things get tough to cope with. If you need to ask any questions then feel free.

I wish you all the best,

G.