The need to disappear!

[Abztract]

Yesterday I decided to disappear to all intents and purposes! I deactivated my facbook account and switched off my phone! On turning it back on I have recieved a number of calls/texts from concerned friends. I know I'm worrying them but I just can't bring myself to reply to any of them. I know this is incredibly selfish and I keep picking my phone up but can't write anything. It's taken me 5 hours to work up to having a shower and I haven't left my flat in the last 2 and a half days. IS it so wrong to just want to give into this for a few days. I'm too tired to fight anymore!

[lightenup]

Fully understand everything your saying, hubby is not working this week, I am so so tired as he jizzes me up to, get out of bed get washed even to go to a garage today.  My legs and arms are so heavy and I am so full of the jitters and feel sick.  I think I am hiding behind him or I hope I am invisible, he makes me do things like go out shopping....................when all I want to do is lie down and well!!!!

Maybe I am lucky to have someone who cares, and really therefore you are too.............but I think we are all like this on our darker days %^&

[junior]

you are both lucky to have people who you know care, i understand the need to be alone everyone needs to be sometimes.
Junior.

[Michibelle]

I feel like this quite often and have found myself phoning sick to work for over a week because I can't bring myself to leave the house.

But what I've found is that when you give into it that first day, each and every day thereafter becomes more and more difficult to face and you end up spiralling out of control.  It's easy for me to say this to you now, because I'm having a "good" day (ie only snoozed my alarm 3 times as opposed to 9 or 10, and only spent 10 mins debating with myself as to whether it is actually worth getting out of bed, and eventually managed to get myself to work).

I find every day is a battle, but if you give up, if you stop fighting...  Well what's the point then?  It's easy to give in to it, but is that the person that you want to be?

I think you're lucky to have someone who clearly understands that you're having difficulties and I think they're right to try to get you moving because once you stop, when you have no more social interaction...you become a shell.  I've been there, and the fight to come back from that is much harder than the every day battle that you're facing right now.

So please, try to keep going, try to get yourself out of bed and into the world -- one baby step at a time.  But please try.

Mx