The last 3 weeks have been a massive mess for me. I'm sure its to do with these newpills ( 20mg sertraline) but at such a low dose compared to my last (60mg citrolaprm) I am sure I must be mistaken. I started taking them on 16th Jan and at first I was feeling just a little jittery and on edge. It then went onto feeling very mixed up, couldn't make my mind up about anything and just sort of confused as to how I felt but I so want to get better I continued feeling it was just getting usaed to them. According to the diary that I keep and my OH fills in when I'm not able to ( translates as can't be arsed) it was the 22nd when things started. I started to feel great and thought the pills were the cure, I felt so relaxed and strong and got up, showered shaved and got dressed, something that's been nigh on impossible for so long. I honestly felt like I had found the miracle cure and that I had woken from a bad dream. I began taking an intrest in everything and I mean everything ahem!!, I started to redecorate the stairs, I cleared the garden, I even started to dig out for our kitchen extention (its a council house). It was then that it apparently started and I went out feeling soooo strong and confident and went to the shops to get a few bits and bobs for the new kitchen extention. £1200 quid on the card on kitchen units and then getting completely smashed for 10 days. Luckily the wife managed to cancel the order and get a refund. This ended Friday after I tried to kick the neighbours door in for yet again playing music at 3am only this time I really wanted to sort things for good if you get my drift. If the police hadn't arrived god knows what would have happened. I have been so angry this past week or so and its prob due to the drinking and smoking (cigs and cannibis for the first time in 7yrs) but I'm scared the pills may have also played a part but I'm more scared to stop taking them cuz now I've hit earth hard.....very hard. I know what I did , I am fully aware but its strange cuz its like I didn't do any of it like I just watched someone else. I'm settled now but feel I'm sinking down again, feel so weak and scared but still managing to function, its like the batteries have power but not much left, slept 1fhrs last night but right now still tired. - am aware its coming up to the 1st anniversary of my sisters death and I'm not sure if I'm feeling down due to that or the pills??? Surely a low dose couldn't mess with me like this could it? I didn't get anything like this from the citrolapram even when it was 60mg, mind you - got nothing from them at all, not a flicker really but this time.....anyone got anyadvice? I see the Doc wednesday, missed my CBT appointment last time and haven't heard from her so dunno what's happening there???? Think I've messed everything up this time but don't know how or why it all suddenly went titsup it just did. I was so sure I was better, I would have bet my life on these miracle pills but now I just dunno what's gone/going on.
