Depression Forums
Other Depression & Anxiety Related Illneses => Anxiety and Panic Disorders => Topic started by: Beetzart on April 10, 2012, 06:56:21 PM
-
Does anyone suffer from this? I haven't been diagnosed with it but I do exhibit symptoms of it like avoiding people and not making eye contact. Perhaps that is what has held me back for so long and it may just be chronic shyness caused by depression I don't know. I went to study for a music degree when I was 18 but had to drop out because I was a nervous wreck and never spoke to anyone. Also I went of a science residential with the OU last summer but ended up lonely and could only talk if I had been drinking. Oh well I am used to it now.
-
I have always suffered with this, I was terribly shy as a child and would hate birthday parties etc because of all the other children.
I am ok with people I know, but try and avoid being in a roup of people I do not know.
You are not alone.
S x
-
Me too :(
-
Yep, personally it seems to be down to a low self-esteem and lack of assertiveness......... I even have trouble using the phone because I think I might be interrupting someone's day ::)
-
I have only just seen this post but I swear I have social anxiety. I can't look people in the eye when I talk to them and I can't look at them while they are talking to me. I get nervous around people I don't know and try to avoid any situation where this might happen. I never know what to say to people, whether I know them or not. I couldn't ever read out in class without getting really nervous and my voice going shaky like I was going to cry. I can't even go into a shop on my own without someone I know because it makes me feel really nervous.
But please remember that I think I have everything wrong with me at some point so it may not be social anxiety.
-
But please remember that I think I have everything wrong with me at some point so it may not be social anxiety.
:) this made me smile icelolloy, I could have written that
Beetzart, I bet lots of people on here could identify with what you've said. For me, eye contact is something I can fake (I think) when I'm ok, but when I'm depressed I can't look at people and I don't want to be looked at. Not great for a teacher.
This is also something that touches me because so many in my family and in my life are aspergers or autistic. For that group, social anxiety can then lead to self-medication, depression etc. Vicious circles all round.
x
-
Yep, I understand not wanting to make eye contact of being looked at. I was ok with the children, at the time I was teaching year 3, so they're still young and relatively innocent, it was work colleagues I found difficult, having to sit in the staff room etc.
I constantly think people are staring at me negatively and find it very difficult to sit in a busy area or with my back to a group of people, this just makes me uncomfortable.
-
I'm the same with eye contact, I was told once that if you stare at someone's forehead it works well to fake it but I find that difficult sometimes too
-
I constantly think people are staring at me negatively and find it very difficult to sit in a busy area or with my back to a group of people, this just makes me uncomfortable.
I have exactly this problem, I feel like people are giving me evils or looking at me funny.
-
I can relate to that, I tend to think people are liiking at me criticising :(
-
I can also relate to this.
S x x x x
-
Only just seen this post having a look around, but I can relate to this too.
I'm not so bad in a group as I can hide myself away, but when I am forced into a social situation I am a wreck
-
Me too.... I put it down to low self esteem. I hate using the phone, making arrangements with other people and definetly sitting with my back to people (Although that I have always put down to a humiliating experience at school when I was being bullied when I was sat with my back to the main bully.... Needless to say she made the most of that oppoutunity :-\) Eye contact I don't find too difficult but I am always vetting and then over-analysing conversations I have had. I almost feel at times like I'm just in the way of other people and just a bit of a nuisance....
-
I have social anxiety. I rarely leave the house. I have had a very severe episode for the past nine months. At some points I haven't left the house at all in a number of weeks. It can be hugely disabling. When I am a little better, for example if I have to go to the GP, I sit in a corner having panic attacks and avoiding any eye contact with anyone. So so grim.
-
I know those feelings well and they're horrible, I hope you get an improvement very soon xxx
-
One trick I learned, similar to another poster, is to look at the bridge of someones nose as you speak to them.
They have no idea that you are doing it and it is closer to their eyes but without actually looking into their eyes.
Ask yourself the question "if I did look into their eyes... what would that mean? What would be so bad about that?"
Once we start to realise the reasons behind why we avoid something, we can begin to work on them.
I used be terrified at getting up and talking to people in a group, I even used avoidance (phone in sick etc).
However, when I looked into it, it was about what other people thought about me and how they may judge me. I too was a painfully shy child.
But I learned that people are entitled to their opinions, I couldn't mind read so I couldn't know what they were thinking anyway. I realsised that it wasn't them that was the problem, it was the way I thought about them that was the problem.
Once I worked on this all became fine and I can talk to anyone now and often give presentations to large groups.
Cognitive Behavioral therapy is very good at altering your thoughts and beliefs. If you can't afford to see a therapist I would recommend a self help book written in the CBT style.
It will help you address your thoughts and beliefs about the situation which causes you distress.
I wish you all the best of luck... If I can change, then anyone can!
Regards
Chris
-
I do. It's probably the thing I'd most like to change about myself. It holds me back so much and it seems less rational than other anxieties (moral, existential, etc). Every social occasion seems like an energy-drain. _-+
I deeply sympathise. ^%$
-
Hi,
I have suffered from depression for a long time and after recovering I have made a very wide research on the topic covering shyness and social anxiety I think we can help omite it one day this ebook is very good and I read it myself and it was very usefull to me I advice anyone suffering from the topic to have ago with this book and you will never regret it,here is the link for the ebook http://8d2827r4onyl5xdzkho5xq0z6r.hop.clickbank.net/
-
I think i have this-i hate large groups of ppl, am not very assertive, avoid eye contact, hate talking on the phone and would much rather not have to deal with people (i also need to drink if im meeting a large group of ppl i do not know.)
im far from the stereotypical loud, shouty chef...
-
Without a doubt , eye contact, talking with others, phone conversations, passing people in he street and saying hello, One of the worst for me is when I am at work when I cannot talk to others. They just think I am in a bad mood, Just wish there was an instant cure :P. well maybe someday ;)
-
I don't have a problem with eye contact as I am partially deaf so tend to look at people when they talk to me. On the other hand I am shy so hate gatherings such as parties, weddings and so. Add having hearing makes it worse as people tend to congregate in small circles so there will be several conversations going on which makes all the voices sound like a babble. I usually sit quietly on my own unless someone talks to me.
-
Family Gatherings are murder for me, I always find an excuse so that I don't need to go Or ill show up for 30 mins show my face then disappear