I'm new

[heartbroken]

I've had bouts of depression since my teens but has got worse over the years.  It has been certain times of the year that my mood has been low.  For the past 10 years it has got worse so that now I have more low times and for longer than good periods.  I constantly think of dying but I don't plan to do anything stupid and think of death as the only way to end the emotional pain.  Finally I got to the stage of needing somewhere to get a bit of support as I can't talk to anybody close to me as they either don't believe in depression or very difficult to talk to as they believe it's easy to snap out of it.

[Pip]

 :welcome:

[stewart]

I heartbroken, welcome to the forums.
if your depression gets worse at a particular time of the year, there could be SAD involved.
other causes of depression could be with you throughout the year, annd SAD kicks in and compounds the issue.

have a good chat to your doc if you can and see if they can perscribe something for you.

[heartbroken]

Thank you for the welcomes 

In the winter I think SAD could be part of the problem with me.  The weather also affects my mood as well.  Dark mornings, darkness early evenings and gloomy / wet weather make me feel miserable and wanting to stay in bed.  Anniversaries are bad for me particularly with my Nanna and one of my uncles who was also my godfather on the dates they died.  I was very close to both of them and they were more than just relatives, they were my best friends.

[stewart]

Hi Heartbroken, yiu are right about how the short days can have necative impacts on us, but on the up side, its better than sitting here meliting in the heat.
yes, Anniversaries on the day we lost someonr close to um can be very bad to say the least, fast coming up to the secomd aniversary on the loss of my Lyady Lynns.