Hi! I'm new!

[Stacelet]

Hi

I suffer with depression usually once a month connected to my cycle! It's a bad place I go to and I can't see out the smog at the time. Everything is pointless hopeless and I just want to go to bed and sleep so I don't have to deal with life. I come out of it for about 10 days then it all starts again I have tried everything. It would be nice to talk to like minded people who get this as my friends say stop being negative etc.

[Grace]

Hello!! Welcome to this forum!! I've never experienced this kind of depression as when I'm low I tend to remain like that if no external intervention takes place, like specific medication.
Have you ever tried to speak with your GP about this?

Grace

[Stacelet]

Hi

Thank you! I have been to my Gp but I refuse to take medication. So far I have avoided them. I have had CBT didn't help at all. I have had holistic therapies which I found helped the best until my cycle from death symptoms appear! Then its out of my control I'm awful to be around then.

[Stacelet]

I should also add I had a nightmare end to my job of 6 years long story but it has ripped every bit of confidence out of me which has added to my issues. I feel like I hit a wall each way I turn and don't know what to do next! It doesn't help when friends say youll find something... I haven't yet! Money is running out and trying to support yourself is scary I wake up with sweats and panic and can't even get up lately. Sleep is the way I deal with it then I don't have to think or see anyone.

[JC]

Hi Stacelet and welcome.

I haven't experienced the kind of periodic depression you describe, my mood is mostly low interspersed with better days. When first diagnosed with depression I was very resistant to taking medication so can understand your refusal to do so; eventually I agreed to try them and, whilst anti depressants are by no means 'happy pills', they have helped me to cope better day to day.

I know you may not want to hear this but I agree with Grace's advice that you should consider speaking to your GP to find out what support they can offer. It is not easy but if meds make you more able to manage your feelings it may be the first step in regaining some of your confidence.

[Grace]

Hello again Stacelet!

I'm really sorry you've been having such a hard time at work, and the present difficulties being out of work. This does not help at all with depression!
I think many of us here have resisted taking medication, or tried to keep them at a low dosage, ..... but then I came to realise that I had to choose between feeling well enough to be able to be effective at work as well more "normal" at home and with friends, and not taking medication and feel down most of the time plus close myself up from the outside world! I felt the second option just wasn't worth it!!
Besides we usually do not resist other medication which needs to be continued throughout one's life like medication for hypertension or diabetes!
It's just that there is a stigma related to antidepressants as if one is a "second-class" person if she/he takes them, as if one can't take one's life  in one's hands! I now know this is not true!!
Besides you say that you've tried alternative meds but are not helpful .... I would return to the GP ..... besides I'm sure doctors don't hand down meds just to prescribe .... they usually prescribe on making a diagnosis.

Wishing your the best!!
Grace

[Pip]

Hi and welcome Stacelet,

I can fully understand being medication resistant and not just because of depression.  Back in 2005 I finally saw a doctor about being depressed as I was rock bottom and was prescribed anti depressants.  It took huge effort on my part as I have been suicidal most of my life and taking tablets has been my form of suicide which obviously didn't work.  Fast forward to 2008 and by this time I had stopped the anti deprresant I found out my blood pressure was yo-yoing between normal and high but stopped blood pressure medication after about two months.  I also had a steriod injection into my right wrist because of arthritis and should have had another two but avoided that.  In 2009 my blood pressure being high went out of control being 210 / 160 so I gave in to having medication.  Now I also take medication for cholesterol, anti inflammatory, pain killers (suffer with arthritis), and, to help me sleep.  I do understand where cycles are concerned as I suffered for a long time but thought I had to suffer in silence because other women did according to my mother.

Job loss isn't going to help either but taking tablets isn't the end of the world and you can move on with support from others who do know what you're going through.

[stewart]

Hi Stacelet, welcome to the forums.
being a bloke i cant really say much about womens cycles, but as there are are mny things that can set off depressoi could well be your cycle.
medication is not for everyone, you could try and sww if there is a MIND office cloce to you, they have sone great support workers.

[Stacelet]

I have heard about MIND and yes there is one in town! I will try that! Thanks :)

[stewart]

so how did it go with MIND Stacelet? have they put you on a waiting list or sent anyone to see you?

[Stacelet]

I called they said they have a waiting list of 12 weeks. Not that I can afford it anyway! Crying fits today. I can't see the point. I have no job and I can't find one. I just spit with the guy I was seeing as he was so young and didn't seem to want to commit at all World end for me today

[Grace]

I'm really so sorry you're feeling so down. I know what it means as my depression has handed me down various difficult moments in my life. What helped go ahead though was my obstinacy not to give in and if a door is closed I would continue trying to open another one! I know it is hard and though deep down I often felt helpless somehow I continued to move on!
Do try to post and we're here to listen and empathise with you!
Grace

[Pip]

I'm shocked that MIND want to charge, my husband didn't pay anything when he had a support worker.  Have you asked your GP about getting counselling through the NHS?

If you haven't it's worth asking.

[JC]

Hi Stacelet

I am so sorry to hear what you are going through and I can completely understand the way you are feeling. I too am shocked that MIND wanted to charge you for counselling and I agree with Pip that it is worth speaking to your GP about what support is available.

We are sometimes far more resilient than we give ourselves credit for and I hope you can do what Grace has suggested and continue posting here so that we can all give you our support.

[stewart]

Hi again Stacelet, dont worry about the cost, its free, they are a charity based organisation.