Hi everyone,
I joined and posted this:
http://depressionforums.co.uk/dpf/index.php?topic=129.msg347#msg347 back in Feb. Warning, it's an essay. Gist: had been tired, tearful, angry etc. for a while.
I didn't seek help. I put it all down to the fact that I have physical health issues, including underactive thyroid, so assumed it was no wonder I felt down.
Since then it has got even worse.
I only admitted something was wrong last week, when I couldn't deal with it any more - couldn't be by myself. I went to the out of hours GP, and made an appointment with my regular GP who saw me the next day and diagnosed me with depression and anxiety.
I feel like my entire life is out of control and I can't do anything right.
I got put on antidepressants - Citalopram - and referred for counselling. I wish I could say the Citalopram is helping.
So, I know I'll be OK, this will pass, I did the right thing to get help.
But I keep thinking I am making a big thing of nothing - I was never suicidal (oh I had the odd selfindulgent thought about it, but I wouldn't do it) or totally unable to function, as in, couldn't get out of bed. I struggle with the idea that maybe my depression is due to my other health issues, well maybe it is, but I should still get help right? I just feel...lazy...medicatingt myself when I should just work on myself. I do intend to do that, but I never have the energy. Maybe the day I feel great and totally well again isn't going to happen.
So, I just wanted to say hi and talk to some people who get what it's like to be depressed.
