to cut a long story short, 3 years ago i was found to have a rare tumour, several admissions and painful surgeries were had and then i went onto treatment to shrink the rest of it, a year later i collapsed and the treatment had caused haemorrhaging ovarian cysts, more surgery, ovaries removed and immediate menopause (I was 43 and had no womb anyway). I had been ill for 2 years by then. 7 weeks post op and i suddenly felt very 'low' and took an overdose, nearly died, had crisis team visiting me at home, took Citalopram for a few months and was told i was 'deeply depressed' by the psychiatrist. Went back to work soon after the OD cos i felt i needed to. That was 2 years ago next month. I am a nurse and always thrived on the pressures of the job. I have been having regular MRI scans as this tumour does tend to return and I found out in Nov that it has, 2cm of it. A bit of a surprise cos it was thought it probably wouldn't without the hormones of the ovaries to 'feed' it. More treatment has been started and Since then I have started to have 'lows' again, a new boss who irritates me doesn't help and I handed in my notice and got a new job (returning to an old one with the same stress levels tho), i start that job on monday. I am not sure i can do my job anymore, i was crying at work tonight, i just can't cope with it like i used to, i feel sad most of the time, want to stay at home but then i get bored and want to do something but won't go out and enjoy myself, i just seem to have lost interest, i feel like i want to give up work and go for walks (sounds odd that i know), sit in the garden (in summer!) and generally have no responsibilities, not an option as a single mum of a teen girl. I just don't know what to do, i feel that staff levels have decreased and so i have been on and off night shifts for weeks and this makes me more depressed, i want a nice day time job and am looking but most of nursing is shifts. Do I need my anti depressants back do you think, am reluctant cos of the side effects tho, have no sex drive as it is and so losing the ability to orgasm is even worse, not that i am with a guy at the moment
