Well im new to the forum, so hello there:p i was diagnosed with depression in 2007, i left my last job because of it, as i felt that had a bearing on how i was feeling at the time. after 8 months i started a new job, which i love, and have been quite happy there until october time ahen i knew i was falling into depression again. however since being off work this time, i have come to realise that i dont have ''boughts'' of depression, which is how i was seeing it, i actually have depression and have had all along, i just got a bit better at coping with it until this hit me and i needed medication. those first couple of years i had no medication as i thought it was just something i had to ''pull myself out of'', but now know its not something you can get out of that easily, if it was do people not think we would?!? My challenge now is to learn how to live with it, and im struggling a bit with this. I also have had the news form work that i could lose my job if they dont get a back to work date soon, also ive found out my daughter has been self harming partly cos of her relationship with her dad, (were not together, ive been married to someone else for 9 years) and hes blaming me, and to top it off i had a termination 5 weeks ago when i found out i was pregnant, it wasnt planned, however, how cuold i take care of a baby when i cant take care of myself!?!? and now i hate myself for it. So right now i cant see the light at the end of the tunnel, but i know its there. I just want to go somewhere on my own to sort myself out, but obviously i cant leave my daughter. im not getting time to help me cos im constantly needed by everyone else. Im at a bit of a loss really, i want to go back to work so i dont lose my job, but i know thats not the right thing to do at the moment, my job needs alot of concentration working in a medical lab, i cant afford to make mistakes. Apart from this im actually a happy go lucky person lol so thats me in a nutshell :)
